u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
