he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
