garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
