Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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