We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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