We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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