So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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