You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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