I used to practice getting hit by cars.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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