i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
