Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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