Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
