Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would fuck him just for his dog
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
