I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He shit in the fireplace
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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