C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
