Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
