Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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