I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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