During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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