im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
