yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
