Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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