so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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