My first STD was from a foam party
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
