Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
