He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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