FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
