i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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