Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
