I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.