Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage