She announced her abortion via fbk
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.