make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
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My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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