You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?