Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dating After Heartbreak
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.