I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck