That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
