I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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