Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
