dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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