what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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