how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize