If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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