Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize