For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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