When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the day after is always just damage control
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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