It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
