you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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