we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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