Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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