i just wanna soil my oats bro
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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