I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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