Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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