I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
