her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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