Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize