sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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