is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
