should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
