I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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