I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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