Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
