just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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