My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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