I wish I could punch you in the face.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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