Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
