Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
